Fatshionista Page 19

  I waited until the last ray of sunshine had drifted over the rooftops and stretched my legs out in front of me. Maybe I should tell my family here to line up all the eligible bachelors who wanted to live in America, pick one, and go home. At this point, having been so close to feeling like there would finally be someone in my life only to screw it up, I just wanted someone to come home to.

  Someone who made me laugh. Someone who smiled with his eyes and a crooked grin. Someone who teased me when I spilled things all over myself. Someone who shared my passion for art and creativity.

  Daniel. Yeah, pretty much I wanted Daniel. Halfway around the world and out of the daily grind of work, I could look back and realize that I told a secret I didn’t have the right to tell. At the very least I could have called him or waited around to talk to him about it. In the moment, all I saw was his success and the need to get in front of the lie he had put out there before it bit him in the ass.

  And now I had ruined any chance I had of ever doing the same. Well, I probably wouldn’t have bitten it…

  I heard footsteps coming up the ladder and figured that my moments of peace were coming to an end. I knew when I came up here it wouldn’t be too long before the little cousins realized where I had run off to and would come looking for me. I was the only person they knew from America, and they had a million questions for me.

  “All right, you found me, and I am all yours,” I said in Hindi.

  And in perfect Hindi I heard the reply, “You ought to be since I traveled eight thousand miles just to find you.”

  My back stiffened at the sound of his voice. What did this mean? Surely he didn’t fly all this way to yell at me and tell me I had ruined his life. I couldn’t turn around. I just stared straight ahead at nothing, trying to figure out how to handle this—how to handle everything I ever wanted standing ten feet behind me.

  “Aren’t you going to turn around?” he asked.

  I knew he was standing right behind me, and the Southern girl in me felt like I was being incredibly rude, but honestly, I had no idea what to say to him. And I knew if he saw my face he would see everything on it that I had spent weeks hiding: the desire, the lust, and the love.

  “No, I don’t think I am,” I croaked out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him sit down to the right of me. He was close enough that I could feel the heat of his body, and I tried to subtly soak in the intoxicating scent that was his alone.

  We must have sat there for five minutes, both of us just staring out ahead at the darkened rooftops and the lights coming on in the buildings all around us.

  A thousand words were on the tip of my tongue ranging from “I’m sorry” to “I love you” to “What the hell are you doing here?” But nothing would come out. I didn’t know if he was waiting for me to say something first, since he had made the grand gesture of chasing me around the world.

  We both turned to look at each other at the same time. He looked tired, probably as tired as I felt. If he had gotten here this quickly, he must have left New York not too long after me. Part of me hoped he was here just for me, but part of me also knew that maybe he had also come home; maybe he couldn’t handle being in New York. I had steered clear of the papers and the internet so I wouldn’t be tempted to see what they had written about the show or the revealing blog post.

  Neither of us had said a word; we were just taking in one another. He tucked a wayward lock of hair behind my ear, the feel of his hand causing me to shiver.

  “Are you cold?” he asked as he smiled at me. This was a good sign, wasn’t it? No throwing anything, no yelling.

  “No,” I answered honestly. I actually had become quite warm since he sat down next to me. It was his presence making me nervous and seriously turned on, all at the same time.

  All right, Millie. This was like pulling a Band-Aid off. Just say it all at once, see how it lands on him, and then go back downstairs. Nothing will be resolved by just sitting here and wishing that somehow this would all work out.

  I took a deep breath and got it all out in one giant run-on sentence. “Daniel, I’m sorry I didn’t come to you first about the story. I hope you know I would never do anything to hurt you. I thought I knew what was best and de-outed you without your permission. I couldn’t face the anger and disappointment I saw on your face at the runway show, so I ran. I do care about you, and I wish I had done this differently, but I didn’t. I hope you can forgive me…and also, I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  I inhaled deeply and mentally patted myself on the back. Other than almost passing out midsentence, I thought I delivered a fairly succinct and emotional apology.

  The silence that followed my apologetic outburst, however, made me doubt my confidence in the delivery. Surely he understood I would never do anything to hurt him. We had spent the last few weeks learning so much about each other and sharing so many laughs. I could only hope it meant as much to him as it did to me.

  If I couldn’t have his love, at least there was a chance that I might have his forgiveness.

  He continued to stare at me, his expression unchanged from the moment I had begun my outburst. I was aching to fill the silence with more apologies and proclamations of my love, but I bit my tongue and waited. He had to have something to say. No one flew eight thousand miles to sit silently in front of the person they had come to confront.

  After a steady five minutes of unbroken eye contact and dead silence, I sighed heavily and started to stand up. I couldn’t bear to continue sitting here, waiting to find out if I was forgiven or hated. I was halfway to my feet when he reached out and pulled me into his lap. My first instinct was to make sure he was okay; I was no lightweight, and I had no grace and had basically just smothered him to death.

  Before I could open my mouth, his was on mine. I closed my eyes and sighed with relief as his tongue swept inside my mouth, seeking my own. Relief quickly changed to desire as the kiss deepened, and I felt his grip on the back of my head tighten. It was as if we were both trying to crawl inside the other one.

  While my mind still wanted a response to my apology/declaration of love, my body was perfectly content with the recent course of events. His hands roamed from my hair down to my back and up again. I shifted on his lap and straddled him, bringing the hard weight of him tight against the aching part of me.

  He groaned into my mouth, and the sound of his desire pushed me even further over the edge. I grasped his hair in both hands, holding on to him in case this was yet another ridiculous fantasy and I was going to wake up in my cot downstairs hot, bothered, and alone.

  His hand worked its way under my kurta top to stroke the skin under my breasts. I was so deeply engrossed in the passion between the two of us that I didn’t hear the laughter of children until it was right next to my ear.

  I reluctantly pulled my mouth from his and turned to see the deep-brown eyes of my youngest cousin staring at us. She was all of six years old and was the ringleader, even though she was the youngest.

  Daniel took one look at the group of children circling us and buried his face into my neck. I guess this was his way of saying I could handle the situation.

  “Aunty-ji said to remind you that a rooftop was no place to ravage a young man. She has already gotten two calls from the neighbors across the street. She sent us up here to tell you to get inside if you’re going to attack the nice Indian boy.”

  Peals of laughter from the other children followed her careful speech. My face flamed red, and now I was the one trying to hide myself. Dear Lord, what must the neighbors think? I knew most of them, and hopefully this little public display of affection wouldn’t reflect poorly on my Indian family.

  I made a move to get up, but Daniel held me firmly on his lap.

  “Even in these baggy pants, my dear, if you move an inch, I’ll embarrass myself in front of these young children,” he emphasized his particular problem by pressing my hips back down on his sizable erection.

  I looked him in the eye and gave him a li
ttle wiggle, causing him to groan, smile, and laugh simultaneously. I was ecstatic to be laughing and making out with this man when only hours ago I thought I might never see him again.

  The poking on my shoulder reminded me that we had yet to deal with our young audience and the demands from my aunt.

  “Mehak, go down and tell Aunty that we’ll be right there. And please tell her to let the neighbors know that I’m very sorry and we will not let this happen again.”

  “She said you have to come down with us or I don’t get any sweets tonight.”

  I ruffled her hair and pulled her close to whisper into her ear, “I have a suitcase full of chocolate and it’s all yours if you take everyone back downstairs and tell Aunty-ji we will be down in a minute. But you have to go right now, before I count to five.”

  I hadn’t even made it to two and she had single-handedly herded all the kids back down the ladder.

  So now I was left straddling the love of my life, trying desperately not to make his delicate situation any worse. I still didn’t know what to say, so I just held his head in my hands and smiled at him.

  “Darling, I know I’m the most exquisite specimen of manhood you’ve ever had the pleasure to straddle, but I won’t be able to walk, let alone make it down that ladder with this erection. So as much as it pains me to ask this, please get off my lap.”

  His gave me a smack on my ass and a kiss on my mouth before planting me two feet away, setting me down in front of him. I couldn’t help but stare at the now-revealed tent in his baggy pants. Oh, I was so close to getting a hold of that beautiful thing.

  “And your staring isn’t helping either,” he laughed as he followed my gaze down to his tented trousers.

  “Sorry.” I blushed as I looked up at him.

  He cupped my face with one hand and smiled at me. “Millie, I got on the plane with the sole purpose of coming here and yelling at you for ruining my life. I was so angry when I figured out who had written the story. Angry that you never asked me, angry that you didn’t give me a chance to explain, angry that on the biggest day of my life I had been branded a liar.”

  I started to drown him a sea of apologies, but he placed a finger over my mouth. “But thankfully India is a fifteen-hour plane ride from New York, and it gave me plenty of time to think. It had been wrong to lie about who I was. I had started in this business to make it on my own merits; that is why I never took any money from my father, why I told people I had grown up poor. It was easier to be that guy than to be the failed son who let down his family and went to work making pretty dresses.”

  There were so many things I wanted to say, but he kept his finger over my mouth, and I figured the least I could do was hear him out, since I hadn’t given him the opportunity to explain before I printed my story.

  “But then it became really complicated when I met you. I hadn’t laughed with a woman in so long. I had avoided them, used them for physical gratification, and with my work, begun to just see them as objects. I was so focused on proving myself and on my career that I had no interest in finding a partner to share my life with. And then suddenly one day you were there, not just in front of me every day as we worked on the show, but also in my head, in my thoughts, and in my dreams.”

  Surely I could interrupt at this point and mention my dreams as well, but instead of just a finger, he covered my whole mouth with his palm and laughed. “No, my dear Millicent, you have been the one using all the words lately; it’s my turn. During the hours on the plane, I realized you had been trying to help me; you just didn’t know how to tell me. I realized that my work is good and no matter what rumors or scandals are attached to my name, the clothes will sell based on their own merits—not on what people think of me as a person. And I decided that having someone to laugh at me and with me—to love me no matter what—and who makes my toes curl with desire, was better than any career milestone.

  “In short, Millie, I love you. And I was a complete ass for not trusting you with who I was from the very beginning.”

  I smiled under the palm of his hand, tears running down my face at his words. I tried to pry his hand away, but he laughed and held it firmly against my lips. “Oh, and one last thing. It also didn’t hurt that as soon as I landed in Delhi and turned my phone on, I had about a hundred text messages from almost every editor, press member, and my assistant saying that the collection was a hit and that there had already been five offers from buyers for the spring collection I haven’t even begun to sketch.”

  I started bouncing with excitement, my body literally humming at his declaration of love and the news that he was going to be as big of a success as he could have ever hoped for.

  He smiled at me and slowly removed his hand. “You can talk now.”

  Although there were a thousand things I wanted to say, I knew there was plenty of time for that later. For now I just tackled him and flung myself at him. I kissed the hell out of him, which was not an easy task since he was laughing so hard he almost dislodged me.

  In all my life, I had never been happier than I was right now. I was jobless and had no idea what my future held, but I knew it would include this glorious man: this talented, sexy, funny, exciting, amazing man who loved me.

  “Millicent! I’m coming up there with my rolling pin in two minutes if you do not get off that man and come downstairs immediately! Mr. Patel is threatening to call the police. This is Delhi, beti, not New York. Bring your young man down here so we can talk to him. I need to find out what he’s going to design for your wedding lehenga, because surely no man would come to my home, molest my daughter on my rooftop, and not marry her.”

  I laughed as I extricated myself from his embrace and stood up. I pulled him to his feet, sneaking one more kiss before we headed toward the ladder.

  “She’s all bark. We have come a long way in about thirty minutes; don’t let her pressure you. She’s just kidding.”

  “You don’t want to marry me?” he asked as I turned to start down the ladder.

  “You haven’t asked. Maybe if you asked, then I would tell you whether or not I wanted to.” I started down the ladder, grinning at the sour look on his face.

  “Well I am not asking unless I know you’ll say yes. I think we can both agree that I’ve suffered enough at your hands without having to go through that as well.”

  I laughed as I watched him hop down the last rung of the ladder to stand in front of me. “You haven’t begun to understand the meaning of the word ‘suffering’ when it comes to what I can do with my hands. I just hope this time you can get my underwear off;, you haven’t been very good with that in the past.”

  I turned to head into the kitchen, leaving him standing with his mouth open at the foot of the ladder.

  “When did I try to get your panties off? I think I would remember trying to get your panties off, and believe me, darling, there would be no question as to whether or not I was successful at removing them.”

  As he rounded the corner, the last part of his sentence was said straight to the face of my Aunty-ji. She held the rolling pin in her hand, slapping one end against the other hand as she stared him down.

  I was peeking over her shoulder smiling wickedly as his discomfort. I didn’t think he could blush with that dark skin of his, but he managed quite the embarrassed shade of red at discussing my panties with my Aunty-ji.

  “I would hope that given the chance you could successfully remove them. I’ve waited a long time for my Millicent to find her mate, and it would be a damn shame if she settled on you but you couldn’t even get her naked long enough for me to have some grandchildren.”

  “Aunty,” I shrieked. Now I was the one turning red.

  Daniel gave her a wink and leaned down to whisper in her ear. I couldn’t make out what he said, but Aunty nodded and turned to me. “You have my blessing. I like this one; I have ever since he was a boy. Now come inside so we can plan this wedding. Might as well do it now while you both are here.”

  And with that, my
dreams of ruling the world of fashion and publishing were pushed to the side—momentarily. I knew in this house of many that I wouldn’t be alone with this man until I had a ring on my finger and vermillion in my hair.

  Daniel took my hand in his as we followed my aunt into the house. He whispered in my ear, “At this point I guess it’s just a formality, but will you marry me, Millie? It seems to be the only way we’ll ever get to be alone in a room together.” He smiled as he kissed my hand.

  “Yes, yes, Daniel Singh; I would love to marry you. And have hot monkey sex with you. And in that order, apparently.” I laughed as I hugged him tightly. It seemed odd to think that I would be marrying someone I had never slept with, but it had worked for centuries in India; surely it would work for me as well. And it would give me more time to brush up on my Kama Sutra reading.